Motherhood and toddlerhood…what a time. Most days, I feel like my son basically runs my life. It's his world, and we are just living in it. Most times, it's easy to just say, "oh, that's okay, he's doing what he's supposed to do," and other days, it's like, "no, he's purposely trying to get me frustrated."
I'm sure it's not easy for him as a toddler either; he has all these big emotions but does not have the words to verbalize them. But this stage is exceptionally difficult as a new mom because I'm constantly trying to unlearn everything I've been taught was "normal' growing up. I'm not saying I fall completely into the "gentle parenting" category, but I do think physically disciplining a 19-month-old child is outrageous. I think he and I are both just going through growing pains together. But at this point, I would take the newborn days over the toddler tantrum days.
I'm learning that parenting is just an exercise of grace each day; some days require more grace than others. Today was one of those days for me. Becoming a parent has forced me to deal with traits about myself that not even marriage has exposed (at least not in three years of marriage). When I am frustrated with my husband, it's easy for me to shut down and invoke the silent treatment, but I'm learning I can't really do that with a 19-month-old. We're both just learning and growing together, and I hope one day he learns to extend grace to his mama as we try to figure out this life together.