Full Circle

I started this year by welcoming my niece and nephew into the world. My joy was full. My sister and brother-in-law had recently celebrated their marriage, and now the Lord had graciously added to their family with TWINS. My entire family was overjoyed. Twins run in our family on my dad's side, but skipped his generation. So now, his children are having twins! How amazing is that?

During my sister's pregnancy, I found myself battling against the enemy. Sometimes, the enemy would provoke me to feel jealous of her and her blessings. I realize how terrible that sounds, and I thank God that in those moments, I would quickly rebuke Satan and those thoughts. I would find myself repenting and asking for grace to be joyful and to "rejoice with those who rejoice."

In those moments of jealousy or envy, I would ask my community to pray for me, to help me be happy instead of jealous or envious. This experience showed me how vital community and vulnerability are. It's important to confess and be vulnerable with trusted people who can pray for you and lay hands on you.

Fast forward three months after my niece and nephew were born, and we found out we were expecting... TWINS as well! As exciting as this news was, I was skeptical that this pregnancy would last. I realized that even if this pregnancy didn't last, God is still and would always be GOOD.

When I understood that God sometimes withholds good things from us so that we won't miss out on the ultimate good thing, which is Him, I knew that even if something were to happen again, I would be okay. At that moment, I began seeing this pregnancy as a blessing and a joy. I think that’s because I finally relinquished control—or the control I thought I had over this pregnancy—and just let God be God. By the grace of God, the babies were perfectly healthy, small but mighty, and we finally got to experience the joy of having our babies earthside again.