June 17, 2022
I finally did it. I can’t believe I did it. I finally QUIT MY JOB! I cannot believe I am actually typing out those words. If you don’t know me very well, you may not fully understand the significance of those words in my life. For someone who is super Type A and very goal oriented and driven, going completely off the plan I had written for my life is completely out of character for me. However, I can confidently say that I am definitely enjoying the woman, the wife, the mother, the daughter, the sister, and the friend that I am becoming. I think motherhood has made me realize that I need to do whatever it takes in order to be the best version of myself I can be so I can become the best wife and mother that I can be, by the grace of God. For me, being stressed out because of my job, being worried and paranoid on my days off about what crazy, chaotic mess I was going to walk into at work the next day made me unable to fully enjoy being at home. I was unable to be fully present in the moment with my husband and my son, and that is not fair to them. Ever since finding out I was pregnant, I have constantly been asking the Lord why He thought it was fit for me to become a mother at this time and I believe God used the birth of my son to show me that I need to become totally and completely dependent on Him just as our son is completely and totally helpless without us. I think God knew that being a mother is what I needed to completely let go of everything I thought I knew about myself and relinquish any control I thought I had over my life and help me to see just how weak I am without him. I think becoming a mother is what I needed to see the areas in my life that were holding me back but were too comfortable and too familiar for me to escape from. I think the Lord knew that my son would be one of the greatest gifts and joys of my life and that becoming his mother would make me become a better disciple of Christ.